


bluedysania's pile of fontcest

by BlueDysania



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, Kedgeup, Knock-Knock Jokes, M/M, Memes, Multi, Polyamory, Sanscest - Freeform, Swapfell, Underfell, blue is stronger than you think, bluefell, outer is a innocent cutie pie, outertale, swapfellcest - Freeform, underswap - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2018-12-06 18:51:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11606805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueDysania/pseuds/BlueDysania
Summary: Contained Within: Fontcest of all kinds and types. Maybe some clichés. Maybe something new. Either way, it's gonna be all bones.Warnings will be placed at the top of each chapter if needed, as well as the pairing of the chapter.Discontinued!





	1. Puns are Sexy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Razz is disgusted by a new development. On the other hand, Sans couldn't be more in love with him.

**(classicblackberrycherry)**

 

Razz slammed the door closed behind him, kicking his boots off and stalking toward the living room. Then doing an abrupt about-face in order to straighten his boots next to a pair of roughed-up sneakers. The absence of a pair of white and red sneakers and blue boots lined up too made him pause.

Ah, right. It was Tuesday and Blue had gone to train with Alphys. Red no doubt had been dragged along as well. Blue seemed adamant to keep Red in shape after that holiday binge mustard drinking.

Just thinking about the disgusting mess they had arrived home to that night made him shudder.

And remind him of his earlier feeling of disgust. Which all compounded to make him forgo his usual check of the house and sit on the couch to regret his life choices. Turning into the living room, he found Sans snoozing with a bottle of ketchup cradled in his arms.

Eye twitching at the sight and memory of Red drunk out of his skull surrounded by mustard bottles, he made a mental note to enforce much stricter drinking rules in their house.

Firmly deciding that he could deal with that mission later, he strode to the couch and sat down. A moment of stillness and then he flicked Sans on the forehead.

If he was going to be miserable, he thought watching Sans startle awake and give him a wounded, bleary look, he would not be doing so alone.

"geez, razzberry... what's got you in a mood?"

Razz groaned.

* * *

"-and he just kept going and going! I could have throttled the mutt!" Razz hissed, clenching his claws in the air.

"well that sounds awful." Sans sounded completely unsympathetic, Razz thought, twitching his claws again, "but it's not that unusual for Slim. what's got ya worked up, huh?"

Razz dropped his hands into his lap, feeling a rare sensation of defeat. "Not only did I get every single one of them... in the end... I told him a better _knock knock joke_." Razz said, every word dripping with disgust. He raised his hands and stared at his clawed phalange. Stars, what had he become?

The continued silence however cast his eyelights toward Sans and he raised a browbone at the glittering heart-shaped ones that met him.

Sans grabbed his hand, Razz was gratified to see that Sans first set his ketchup bottle securely on the coffee table first, yanking it to his chest, "oh my Stars, _Razz_. you are _so_ sexy right now."

Razz stared at his love-struck lover with growing disbelief, "... Really?" To his further disbelief, a glowing blush was blossoming across Sans' cheekbones. Was Sans... getting turned on by him outwitting his brother in puns?

Sans scooted forward, nearly crawling into his lap, the blush growing brighter as his grin widened, "say knock knock again."

Apparently, yes, he was. Razz smirked, settling his hands on Sans' hips. "Yeah? You want me to make a pun, pet?" He raised a hand to massage the base of Sans' spine, "Does that excite you?"

"come oooon... Razz, say it." Sans whispered, leaning forward to clink a kiss to Razz's jaw.

Wow, this was... sad? No, mostly it was hilarious. And a little sad. Razz sighed.

Abruptly throwing Sans down onto the cushions, he straddled him firmly and pinned his wrists at his side. To his amusement, Sans' was nearly vibrating under him, eagerly looking to him to follow through. Though the blue glow seemed isolated to Sans' skull.

Razz rolled his eyelights inwardly. It wasn't even a kink! He was just excited to hear him make a pun!

The things he did for his mates. He should be rewarded. In fact he would be. And if there wasn't going to be sex now there most definitely would be later. Razz licked his fangs, studying the tempting blushing skeleton beneath him. Oh, the plans he had for tonight. But he would need to wait for Blue and Red to return in order to fully enact his reward for being so gracious.

"Razz." Sans whined, beginning to push against his hands.

Ah, right. He needed to be gracious first... but he wasn't going to deny himself a treat either. With the travesty he was about to commit, he needed one.

Leaning down, licking along the cervical vertebrae and savoring Sans' taste, he whispered huskily, "You must really like these cheesy puns, " he nipped at them lightly as he finished, " since it looks like you're feeling _grate_."

As Sans surged upwards, he allowed the smaller skeleton to crush him close. He absently licked along Sans' clavicle, humming against the bone as Sans squealed in happiness. As his pet babbled blissfully, he chuckled and murmured against bone, "You're such a freak."

"i love you _berry_ much too, razzberry!"

Stars, was he going to enjoy tonight.


	2. Choose Your Own Bluefell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long needed conversation. But everyone still loves each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was something I wrote in response to [CrushingOnSans's](http://archiveofourown.org/users/CrushingOnSans) [Bluefell 3](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8585845/chapters/26272791) chapter. This was inspired by their writing and I have permission to post this!

**(BlueFell)**

Stretch shifted against the wall and Blue felt only a little bad about seeing his little brother wincing slightly at the action. Blue had only held back a bit. He'd admit to being slightly panicked when his brother had gotten a hold of his arm. If Stretch had managed to get him back to their universe, who could say if he would ever be able to come back. So maybe he had thrown Stretch down a little harder than he'd meant too.

But Blue knew it had barely taken a single decimal and stood strong. This was a talk long overdue. He needed to do this now, or he might lose the nerve. Red's low whistle and hand on his shoulder and feeling Fell's rapt, impressed attention at his back only encouraged him forward.

"Papy-"

Stretch interrupted, glaring, "Bro, this isn't a good idea. Do you have any idea what these two-"

"-have done?" Blue finished with a similar glare back. He was getting tired of not being listened to. By the one monster in the universes that should be. He saw his brother jerking against his hold but tightened his grip in response. The look of shock had been exhilarating at the time, now he felt slightly insulted. Did Stretch think Alphys taught him nothing during their training sessions? Feeling angry once more, he asked quietly, "Are you ever going to let me do anything?"

Stretch's glare softened slightly and Blue could see his brother, his little, concerned brother who was only doing this because he was trying to protect him from harm. It was why he could never hate his brother for lying or coddling him.

"You don't understand, bro."

But he could be angry at him.

"No! You don't understand! You never let me do anything unless you 'approve' of it first! You told Alphys not to let me into the Royal Guard! You told Muffet not to serve me anything remotely alcoholic even though I'm older than you! And you're allowed to go to different universes all alone but stars forbid I do! How do you not understand how.. how unfair it is?!" Blue sucked in a breath, feeling winded at the rant he had thrown into his brother's face.

Stretch was staring at him with wide sockets, shock painted across his face. Blue sighed, anger draining away. Ignoring the protests from behind him, he knelt down in front of his brother, letting go of his magic. Stretch didn't move, just watching him silently.

"I want this, Papy. I want them. I'm happy." He murmured, looking back at the Underfell brothers with a smile. Turning back to his own brother, he found a familiar note of resignation beginning to creep into his face. Blue wrapped his arms around Stretch tightly, "They love me and I love them. And I love you! I know you're trying to protect me, but I don't need you to this time."


	3. Number Drabbles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two drabbles inspired by an old internet question meme. Contains kedgeup and implied swapfellcest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the second one when I realized... does anyone have nsfw art of Outertale Sans? He's like... untouched. Headcanon confirmed, Outer is a beautiful, innocent cinna-roll.

**Would Edge and Sans last on a one nighter?**

_Oh yeah. I think they'd do more than last._

 

Sans sighed softly as his limbs refused to do more than twitch in the aftermath. He hadn't expected that. Edge was a renown Dom, yes. Edge was confirmed to be a rough partner, yes. Sans has been prepared for that in spades, knowing that at his core Edge was a Papyrus. And everyone knew the saying about Papyruses.

Still, Sans had not expected such precise, mind-blowing attention given to him the entire way through. He'd climaxed three times in the time it took Edge to come once and the edgy skeleton had looked so fucking pleased with himself the entire time. Sans' face glowed blue from the lust-hazed memories and was relieved that his magic was to worn to stir so soon. It would be a shame to waste Edge's hard work of thoroughly cleaning his bones with a warm, wet cloth afterwards. He'd nearly fallen asleep during the nearly massage-like cleaning, but had been tapped gently awake each time.

The door opened and Edge strode in, in only a pair of black leather pants. Stars, if he wasn't already three blinks from passing out. Sans averted his eyelights to what he held, a glass of water in one hand and Sans' jacket in the other. He'd thrown it haphazardly once they'd stumbled into the Fell's house, both drunk off their lust.

Sans' tried to sit up but found himself quite (heh) boneless. A large hand cradled his head in a firm grip. He found it much easier to raise himself just enough to sip at the chilled water and sighed at the soothing temperature. Edge expertly slid his hand to his back, using his arm to lift Sans upright into a full sitting position and pulled the blue material around him securely. Sans found the meager motivation to zip it up himself, the familiar weight a comfort.

Edge further slid behind him, pushing at his shoulder to lean against his broad ribcage and Sans relaxed into the one arm hold. It wasn't a hug, a smidge to firm to be. But it felt secure, safe. Sans wouldn't mind doing this again.

He heard a husky chuckle above him, "You have my number."

 _Crap_ , had he said that aloud?

 

* * *

 

 

**What would Outer do if they walked in on Slim and Razz?**

_Oh, the poor star. He'd probably get an eye full of some kinky shit. Then depending on if he got away unscathed, wonder about doing any of it himself._

 

"how does this thing even work?" Outer mumbled to himself, perched on his mattress. He was holding up one of the sex toys that Razz had thrown at him while screaming Outer _'GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BEFORE I FUCKING DUST YOU_ '. It looked makeshift, not something you could buy most likely. He held it closer, turning it over in his hands. His finger clicked something inward, a button, and Outer yelped loudly as it began to jerk in his hand with one section pumping what seemed to be the dildo function of the toy. "oh no… h-how do I turn it off?"

Outer had no time to react as his door slammed open and his brother peered in exclaiming, "BROTHER! I HEARD YOU EXCLAIM IN SURPRISE! WHAT IS… THE… matter..."

Outer flushed periwinkle and dropped the toy on his covers, scooching away from it as fast as he could. "it's not mine!" He shrieked, slipping off his bed in his panic.

Nova stared at his sprawled form on the ground, with a sprinkle of buttercream-colored magic on his cheeks. He shifted awkwardly into the room as the toy continued to move. "Outer… you don't have to be ashamed. It's um, perfectly natural to, ah, have these… needs."

"seriously. it's not mine, I swear."

"Brother… THE GREAT GALATIC GUARDSMEN PAPYRUS WILL NOT JUDGE YOU!"

"bro. _no_."

**Author's Note:**

> Requests to be asked at at [BlueDysania](http://bluedysania.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Requests are OPEN


End file.
